What I’m about to share bears the potential to rub individuals the wrong way. I understand. Some of us have spent a lot of time, maybe money, probably energy into our arriving at where we are right now. The only solace I can offer on the front end is having been down, or in some cases received much persuasion toward a traveling of the road in which I’ll aim to illustrate. Here goes…
When we ‘deconstruct’ are we seeking to grow closer in relationship to God or merely slapping the face(s) of circles and or individuals of the religious institutions we were formally entangled to? Even though I see a great need to reanalyze our beliefs, I believe it ought to be in a quieting of the voices around us (not adding additional or alternative ones). Getting back to the Bible in prayer. Listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit. While some are doing well in partaking of these practices, I see a growing number of those heeding the voice of another…
Bitterness fibs “You’re searching for truth”. But reality finds you idolizing your feelings, placing hope in them as the deciding source (after all, yours are more true than the next guy/girl who feels otherwise). I believe this is what’s known as ‘pride’.
Bitterness pleads, “Your motives are pure.” But you find yourself scanning for ideas that agree with what you want to believe and feel affirmed when you find others who state the same. You bounce philosophies off those who disagree so as to appear open and conversational, but deep inside you’re merely aiming to win them over to your new truths so that you can feel better about them.
Bitterness hides the fact that while we were once dependent to the point of naivety upon the input of others, we’re convinced we’ve leapt a major hurdle by now covering our ears to them. Little do we realize how we have repeated the same process with the new voices we are now open to.
Bitterness shouts, “You’re not bitter!” But intentionally seeks opinions that state the opposite of what you once believed. Your new and opposing views give you a sense of power, control, and eliteness from those who steered you wrong. You don’t feel ‘stupid’ anymore. I believe this is what is commonly called ‘being deceived’ (one ditch to another).
As I stated in the beginning, I am no stranger to the temptations as well as participation in some of these bitter facets. I feel seen/loved to have been rescued on several of these fronts. I remain saddened by those still present - some having bit down so hard they’ve fallen headlong into heresy. Others have followed the trail to its bitter end of faith no more. Lord help!
Jesus feels the pain that led us here. He sees a better path than the one we’re currently traveling to self-medicate. He invites us to share the taste of our hurts. He endures with great patience. And as the master craftsman He is notoriously avowed to be, He knows how to deconstruct the image of Him we’ve created through our bitterness and reconstruct us with a love like we’ve never known before. Personally, I feel I am still in the construction phase. Seems like the safest place to be. How about you? And is that where He claims you to be?
Hey Ken! Thanks for sharing your take. I’m tracking with you and also very interested in escaping the corruption bitterness brings, my own escape and helping others.