When the target is to not behave like someone else, the crosshairs generally align around becoming an exact opposite of said person(s), even if the someone is ourselves. Or so we hope. Perhaps we are successful! And yet, the antonym often possesses an artillery for destruction its very own.
Upon another stage, one may spend much time meditating on (giving thought to) the behavior they oppose and ultimately end up emulating it simply because the bad behavior was their primary focus.
I’ll take no aim at undermining anyone’s pain. My fair share lends me an understanding for what it’s like - how hard it can be to overcome. I’ve also noted how even our negative experiences form and, in many ways, highlight who we are, for better or worse.
Additionally, there is an awareness of how often victims become villains. Hospitality which allows our enemy to live “rent-free” inside our head holds a long-standing reputation for prolonging the pain - enlisting in the firing squad from a seemingly dissimilar foxhole, yet similar in that it is still on the side of enemy lines. We believe we are doing good by attacking a specific side of evil, bewitched by the fact we have only joined with another force of the same enemy - now casting our trash onto the next generation. ‘Round and ‘round we go…
I wonder: Is there a way/place where instead of reacting to abuse/negative behavior, we instead respond, eventually becoming our true selves rather than continuing to corrupt our livelihood by trying NOT to be like someone else? True, “focusing on Jesus” is the standard, assembly line answer. But what is it we imply? Really?
Jesus, how/where do you fit in this equation? Enquiring minds would like to know.
appreciate your views, your insight affords a view we often overlook. My only reference is to view my own process and one of the game changers for me was that in my own hot mess, Jesus simply remained. Too often at the hint of impropriety, especially in church circles, community turns to ghosting.
The only ghosting I experienced was his refusal to leave. If we are His, and we find ourselves in proximity to others who struggle and fall, we are faced with a choice, or series of choices, based on multiple factors as to what our response is to be. Some of the holiest ground I’ve ever been around… I struggle with face to face. He doesn’t seem to. Much to consider.
Good stuff, Ken!